New Year’s Eve 2015
All right, friends, another New Year’s Eve is here. Turn off the Barry Manilow and fire-up your VR machine, because Carly Rae Summers and Misha Cross are back in another virtual porn effort. This time they’re joined by the beguiling strumpet: Ms. Hannah Shaw. Together—with Potro de Bilbao and Miguel Zayas—they’re starring in Virtual Real Porn’s latest: Happy Sex Year.
And, before analyzing this movie, I want to wish all my readers a
Happy New Year. And, I want to thank you for all your visits. I’m surprised by how popular this website has gotten in just four short months. And, I will continue reviewing in 2016.
So, thanks for reading. Thanks for linking. Thanks for telling your amigos. And, thanks for using the sponsor links to subscribe to VR porn companies.
Because folks, there’s no way around money’s reality. After I finish writing this, I’m off to get this fancy Bose, blue tooth speaker. And, friends…I can’t buy speakers with my good looks alone!
Also, thanks to the porn gals who bravely ventured into the VR terrain! And, don’t be shy about having the VR camera rig come very close to your face. Trust me. This is what the men minds want. Anyway, you’re providing the earth’s men-folk with some wholesome, horny-good, 3D wackability. You know, it’s understandable why a fella wants to wack his wanga-ma-bob to a 3D Misha.. I mean…
Anyway, as mentioned, thanks to the blog visitors. And, thanks to the porn actresses and actors: because those dozens of huge Retweets are what’s made all of this possible. So, I don’t want to sound like a corny fucker, but… THANK YOU! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Okay, about this movie: it almost feels like
too many points must be made simultaneously. That’s what happens when Carly’s droopy, big ones bounce before my eyes…my concentration gets impaired! I love Carly’s tits. And, I absolutely adore how the sexy gals in this movie are all wearing thigh-high stockings!
But, to be honest, my concentration abilities have always been bad. That’s why I had so much trouble in school. I wasn’t a moron like Principal Davies claimed. I just get easily sidetracked! Anyway…
I’ve written before about the glory of Carly’s natural gal-knockers. To me, they’re the perfect woman melons. If I were so
fortunate to give Carly’s funbags a squeeze, I just don’t think I’d get bored. Ever. Two hours later, Carly would ask, “Are you done squeezing yet?” I’d reply, “No, give me a couple more days of squeezing, please…”
To me, Carly—with the droopy-big tits, flat stomach and cute, lil face—is the ultimate toy. If she were your lady, you’d pretty much want to permanently keep her in pink panties with her ass in the air. Just pull the panties aside, mount, squeeze boobies and bang the bejabbers out of her round-the-clock. The only changes I’d order: straighten your hair, dye it a bit blonder and keep a mohawk-landing-strip.
So, this movie, like all of them, got some things right…and, other areas could be improved. Now, returning to Carly’s glorious tits: they’re an example of what was filmed right.
VRP, please go back and watch 13:42 to 14:58. Now, giving credit where it’s due, there is something that Virtual Real Porn does better than anyone: they nail the perfect distance and perspective with their cowgirl footage. What does that mean?
Okay, with virtual porn, the viewer wants a sense of immersion: that means the viewer wants a convincing illusion that Carly and Misha and Hannah are bouncing their bountiful bottoms on his man wrench. So, to create that illusion, the woman must seem close to the viewer. And, it’s important her body’s proportions seem true-to-life.
And, for whatever reason, this is something that VRP has always done well. I remember realizing this when watching an early Sicilia Model cowgirling effort. They have the technicalities mastered. And, that 13:42 to 14:58 segment is a good example of their VR skill. Other companies get too much man torso in the shot. The woman feels too far away. With VRP, the distance is close and just feels right. Like I said, they’re very good at this. Moving along…
It seems VRP recently shot three movies in one outing: The Lunch with mainly Hannah; the excellent Game Boy with Misha and Carly; and this movie, Happy Sex Year. And, it seems VRP broke that shooting day’s footage into three VR efforts released with just a slightly-staggered schedule.
Normally, I might say that VRP should mix it up more, but when it’s Carly and Misha…well, I’ve written elsewhere about these gals…And, with Hannah: I’ve also written about her exotic-hornyness.
And, since Hannah was poorly-shot in The Lunch; her up-close, cowgirl fun times are appreciated in this movie. As far as Misha, I love her pretty face, piercing eyes and how a skinny girl like that maintains such a big, marvelous ass.
So… I’m totally cool with seeing these particular girls in lots of VR. And, honestly… I want more of them. In particular, I want to see a solo Carly effort that’s shot properly…soon! As in…NOW! I want to see: Carly dressed in yoga pants jogging in place.
All right, let me mention my method. When reviewing a VR porn, there are three main factors that I consider:
1. The woman: appearance, performance, etc.
2. Virtual scaling: are things, more-or-less, in correct proportion?
3. Human/camera positioning: are there close-ups? Is the camera level good? Is the positioning of the woman effective and interesting?
So… Hannah, Misha and Carly: as I’ve been saying, these are some fine-looking gals. And, these three bitches love man rocket! Perfect! They’re not faking it! They absolutely can’t get enough!
And, any red-blooded, heterosexual man-fellow who glances at these women will instantly think: “I want to fuck her!” I’d venture that even quite a few homosexuals would have that thought. At least 25% I’d say. This is the type of primo pussy that can flip a fella’s sexual orientation.
The virtual scaling: VRP nailed it. Again. You know, the truth is that the VRP boys do scaling better than anyone. I won’t claim to understand the technicalities behind this. But, whatever you’re doing…just keep doing it!
So, I’ve covered what was right about this. Now, let’s talk about how it could have been improved.
1. Where Hannah’s fucking in the background… that should have been filmed up-close. Generally, this background action is a bad idea in VR.
2. The cowgirling had tight-shot sections that were excellent. The whole movie should stay in that up-close perspective. KEEP CLOSE THE WHOLE TIME!
3. More close-ups on the faces. These women have beautiful faces. Why put masks on them? I get it: New Year’s Eve, etc. Lose the masks. Get the camera closer.
4. Incorporate more missionary footage! Incorporate more doggy footage!
All things considered…excellent effort. Just get rid of the unnecessary stuff and get closer and keep filming these same women. They’re three of my favorites. We want a Carly JOI VR! So, that’s it folks. Happy New Year.
All that’s left is to declare:
I want to fuck Carly and Misha and Hannah!