March 20, 2016
Naomi Nevena: Me Sooooo HORNY!
All right, friends, today we’re going to take a look at Naomi Nevena’s recent solo movie just released by the good folks over at Czech VR. We last saw Naomi a while back in a BaDoink massage feature.
I’ll tell you what… this VR porn world is weird because six months feels like more than six months… it feels more like… wait for it… six years.
And, if you’re a fella who wouldn’t punch your best friend in the face for a chance to shove your carrot in Naomi’s pink garden: then…
…rush straight to a psychiatrist and get a bunch of pills to fix your own head, man!
Oh yea, so… let’s do this thing.
Official Movie Synopsis:
Let’s see how the Czech boys describe their latest effort (lightly-edited):
Blonde hair, great body, perky boobs and an ass begging to be eaten. Don’t know who I’m talking about? Well, our latest model: Naomi Nevena! She’s a great girl. You’ll love watching her in our virtual reality room: have no doubts about that.
So, yea… Naomi’s gorgeous. And, Czech VR get out that welcome mat, because I’m racing over to your virtual reality room right this instant, man!
Give Me A Convenient, Time-Saving tl;dr…
All right, I know you good folks are only taking a VR porn break here…
Czech VR values keeping things simple. This is a good thing. Somehow this dumb notion’s developed that for something to be worthwhile it also must be Goddamn convoluted.
Anyway, each week the Czech VR boys use a simple formula to bring us incredibly HORNY VRs.
What’s the formula?
Well, you remove everything unneeded (eg. plot, setting, dialogue, etc.) and, with technical skill, capture a beautiful, young Euro Goddess being horny in an unadorned setting. You get the camera close to her lady parts. And, you let the gal… um.. in the words of Madonna… express herself.
VR Porn Reviewing Scientific Method
I do these reviews based upon three main factors:
1. The woman: let’s face it. The woman to VR porn is like the spoon to a hungry guy with a steaming bowl of clam chowder before him.
2. The scaling: do things look correct and proportional? I mean… if the gal’s head’s the size of Eastern Europe and her torso’s like a giraffe’s neck… well, it just doesn’t work. Oh man, these similes are really degrading in quality. I need a vacation, man!
3. Positioning: of the women and cameras. Close-ups are much-desired. It’s also great to get some variety of sexual positions.
All right, let’s talk about what was done right in this movie and where there’s room for improvement:
1. Naomi Nevena: look, I ain’t just saying it. I mean, check out her pictures.
You like gorgeous blonde women? Young ones? And, if not… why not?
If you ain’t willing to make a deal with the devil to plunder Naomi’s treasure chest… then, you must be experiencing an existential crisis concerning your manhood!
I mean… look at her here with those gorgeous gal legs spread wide:
2. The scaling: it was on-point. With the Czech boys… they basically always get this right. I mean, everything is always proportional and realistic. To be honest, I think they could notch the size up just a tad bit. I mean, just a tad. I’m using a Gear VR now…
And, this stuff looks awesome on a Gear, but there’s not as much control with FOV… or, at least I haven’t figured that out yet. Hey, I ain’t Billy Gates, man! It’s half-a-miracle I figured-out how to run a blog, man.
3. The solo: solo is just a really good genre for VR porn. I think it’s better than male-female copulation, actually. I mean, for VRs… It just seems like the natural way for virtual porn to go. It’s like… solo to VR porn is like a couple to a candlelight dinner. And, I’m talking about in a fancy restaurant, man… where you got lobsters and cheesecake and cloth napkins!
4. The positioning: good work! Basically, they kept the camera on Naomi like dog piss on a fire hydrant. Man, how many lousy similes am I going to insert in this thing? I must be a little tired…
Why am I getting up so early on a Sunday? I’m driven, man!
Check out how they positioned Naomi in this picture, man!
Okay, about positioning…
The first five minutes of the movie were basically spent clothed-teasing. EXCELLENT! This is just what we’ve been asking for… This type of teasing works so damn well in virtual reality! And, Ms. Nevena has a special knack for this. Only thing I’d change? Put pink panties on her instead of those gray grannie panties.
Ultimately, though, this is a blonde who looks best without panties:
Then, they have blondie finger her pink with legs spread and then doggie… then missionary again.
Then, it’s over.
And, the scaling was good. The camera was close. The whole affair lasted about twelve minutes. This is how you get yourselves some satisfied customers.