January 2, 2016
All right, let’s talk about the BaDoink VR that was released on New Year’s Eve: Pinned Up and Poked Hard, starring Denise Sky and Ariadna Moon.
These gals ain’t faking it! Phony passion is like a slug on a cupcake. Was that a good simile? I don’t even know, man. It feels like the last day’s been going on for a week… My simile-maker is busted like one of those umbrellas where the metal spoke things are all bent and you’re trying to keep the flimsy little umbrella above your head, but you’re getting soaked anyway, because the wind’s blowing, so you might as well bow down …because, you’re powerless, man!
Also, well done BaDoink VR. Why am I saying that? Well, around five weeks back, they said there would be two VRs released weekly until the New Year. And, that’s just what they did.
So, when reviewing VR porns, there are three main factors I’m considering:
1. The woman (or, as in this case, women): looks, performance, passion, intangibles, etc.
2. Scaling: does the size of everything seem proportional and at least mostly realistic.
3. Positioning: of the performers and cameras…are there good close-up shots, etc.
So, VR is really new. Damn new. We’re already forgetting that. We’ve been watching companies like BaDoink figure things out as they go along. There really was no other way. One day, all the bugs will be squashed, and these reviews will be easier to write. Because, I won’t have to mention scaling: it will always be on-point.
And, here’s the thing…Pinned Up and Poked Hard made me think about this because the BaDoink boys have nailed the scaling. It seems to me they’re doing something technically different because I had to use a considerably different FOV setting. I don’t know about the nitty-gritty details of that, but I can tell you that things most definitely looked right.
This time around, I was using the huge 5 GB Oculus file. Maybe that had something to do with it. Maybe at some point, I’ll go back and test the Android Smartphone version and check for differences. I’ve done that in the past, and my general conclusion was that on my phone rig, it didn’t make much difference.
Now, here’s another thing. Although I break the review into those three categories, they’re not really separate entities. They’re very much dependent upon each other.
For example, when the camera and people are placed at proper distances, the scale will be pleasing…and the woman’s appearance and performance will be enhanced.
What about the women? Well…
The women are beautiful. You know, I am a total sucker for a tall, skinny redhead! I’ll tell you that right now! A slender gal with flaming hair just gets me all sorts of nuts! I’m not kidding. Always makes me remember one particular redhead twat I knew many years back. Anyway, you’re not interested in my maudlin, nostalgic bs…
So, as I was saying…BaDoink got this one right. Beautiful women. Accurate scaling. Good close-ups. You know… Go ahead and make your declaration. I normally write more, but I’m pretty tired. New Year’s Eve I was up all night chugging champagne with some babes on their yacht. …Do you believe me? Then, today I was doing 4 plate deadlifts: a set of 5. Do you believe me? And, I also was preparing for a marathon.
Here is a bit of truth: I saw this guy at the gym today, and we usually say hello. I asked him if he made any New Year’s Resolutions. You know what he said? I’ll tell you, folks…He said, “When you live properly, you don’t need to change anything.” He then dropped his dumb bells and walked straight out of the gym.
Happy New Year friends.