Hi friends, another day is here…and, it’s time to discuss Harmony Reigns’ latest solo virtual sex effort: Follow Me. First, let’s congratulate Ms. Reigns for winning second place—among all voters—in the 2015 VR Porn Movie Awards presented by FindVRporn.com.
I’m sure all of Harmony’s fans are very happy about this. By the way, do you know what her fans are called? Well, they’re called… The…wait for it…Harmonizers.
Sorry, but you got to let me have a little fun. Yes, sure…I know my fun generally turns corny…but, I just can’t help that!
Okay, so let’s talk about Harmony Reigns. We last saw her in the movie The Rehearsal. I wrote about that VR in an article entitled Harmony Reigns Bouncing Boobies, Brilliant Eyes. Because, those are the two things that immediately strike a man fellow about Harmony.
Well, a guy’s first thought is something like this, “Look at those tits!” And, about three or four hours later, after the fella’s gotten over the shock of those enormous funbags, he has an afterthought, “Oh yea, she had some really nice eyes, too.”
This is what I said about The Rehearsal:
“Probably the most eye-catching thing about this lass are those 36 DD airbags that majestically jostle whenever she’s doggy-thumped. So, big-tit lovers… if you like VR…and you like over-sized, creamy funbags…then, Ms. Reigns is your gal.”
And, all of this still applies. If you’re a titty-bopper-loving guy who likes himself some VR, then you will appreciate this Harmony solo girl, masturbation effort.
This is how the good VRP folks describe Follow Me (lightly-edited):
“Getting more followers could be difficult, but the curvy and lovely Harmony Reigns has found the perfect way. She will be uploading the naughtiest, sexiest pictures of her dildo-masturbating her tiny, wet pussy.”
The thing about Harmony…I know I risk sounding like a broken record here…but, it’s my OCD, man! I wish I were kidding.
But, here’s the thing I was thinking. If you were fortunate enough to have the chance to squeeze Harmony’s funbags… I just don’t imagine that would ever get boring. I mean…I think I’d be squeezing those things for a couple days nonstop.
Okay, enough! Let’s talk about this movie! It runs about 17 minutes. It features Harmony’s tits. I mean…it features Harmony Reigns! Sweet Harmony has the voluptuous, body-type that hearkens back to Marilyn Monroe.
Who the hell says hearkens back? It’s like archaic, man! C’mon…this is a VR Porn Review Blog. And, the idiot is trying to channel Willie Shakespeare or something! Oh, that would be me I’m talking about. I was doing some weird third person sort of thing there.
Harmony, I blame this on you! You see what your GIGANTIC TITS in VR do to a man-fella’s mind! Those insane watermelons get a guy babbling to himself! Look at the movie’s 8:42 mark when Harmony cradles those over-sized pillows and gives them a little bounce. Aye Caramba!
However, she bounces them very briefly. Listen, VRP! You should have had a close-up of Harmony bouncing those things for a couple minutes. Trust me, you good folks are underestimating the perversion level of your viewers! Trust me, I’m dialed-in to this stuff! Have Harmony jump up-and-down and zoom in on those wild funbags!
All right, let me try to focus here. I, usually, base these reviews on three main variables. Let me try to use that approach so I can finish this and start watching Star Trek on Netflix. Last night, I saw the episode where Spock was on the strange planet where he go sprayed in the face by the weird plant spores, so he fell in love with a fine piece of futuristic, blonde gal… focus!
Okay, I’m starting to conclude that Harmony’s tits are making it impossible for me to write this review. Here’s the thing: she’s a pretty-faced, big-boobie blonde gal. Virtual Real Porn’s scaling is fine in this effort. And, we get fairly close to Harmony’s masturbation-funtime, but I feel the cameras could have gotten just a bit closer. All things considered, though, Harmony’s VR fans—and, she’s got a lot of them—are going to enjoy this.
And, I really hope to see more solo gal efforts from all the studios. So, folks about all that’s left is your declaration: