Friends, it feels like the VRs are coming like a waterfall crashing over my head. And, a fella tries to keep up with the releases.
For the sake of history, man! Chronicling history! The future generations will want to know about the dawn of VR PORN!
All right, we already know I’m not funny!
All right, VRP’s new solo release with Hannah Shaw. Just the facts, ma’am. Let’s stick to the facts.
Okay, just the facts, sir.
Virtual Real Porn.
Starring, Hannah Shaw.
Title: Cum With Hannah
Length: I don’t know.
Genre: Solo gal masturbation virtual reality pornographic movie entertainment.
“Natural tits, great ass, hot lips, black eyes, soft hair… These are the ingredients of Hannah’s perfect body. Add some sexy British accent, tons of oil and a dildo to stuff into her perfect tiny pussy and the result is this amazing VR porn solo scene, Cum with Hannah.”
Three factors used in these VR Porn Reviews:
1. The woman: how is the gal’s performance? Appearance? Does she seem authentic in her craft?
2. The scaling: do things look correct and proportional? Is it immersive? Or is the woman’s head the size of a horse while her torso is a pretzel stick?
3. Positioning: of the woman and cameras. Are there enough close-ups? Close-ups matter…. a lot: their importance can’t be overstated. I’m starting to think that a VR porn could succeed if it did nothing but close-ups. It actually might work best that way. I’d love to see someone try this…
If you look at any VR porn discussion, people are frequently bitching about a close-up shortage…
Let’s talk about what was done right in this movie:
1. Okay, Hannah Shaw: she’s pretty. You know you like her. That straight, dark hair. Eyes burning into you like dark lasers. The accent. The exotic pootanannie. The whole deal.
2. The genre: I’ve got to tell you folks: I like these solo gal VR efforts. As in… I like them A LOT. Lately, I’ve been thinking that I’m digging these more than VR man-woman bump-and-grinds.
It just seems like the solos were made for virtual reality.
3. The scaling: Virtual Real Porn gets this correct week-after-week. And, when it’s on-point, there’s not much to say except things are looking dyn-o-MITE!
4. Panties, garter belt, stocking, lingerie: Man, I love this stuff: both in life and VR. I make my girlfriend where this sexy shit all the time. All I got to do now is start donning my headset when bucking the ole heffer.
5. The general Hannah teasing, baby oil, dildo and masturbation: Sure, you can’t go wrong with that stuff!
What about this movie could have been improved?:
1. This is an enjoyable effort. Only criticism I had was that they could have gotten a bit closer to Hannah. Now, there were some close-ups and the camera distance was pretty tight. But, for me, the distance could have been just a little bit tighter.
And, now… I gotta go get my pretzel, get drunk and win some money at the track, because I really want to get over to Red Lobster with Sally and get some clams and high-quality cheese sticks.